Where I’ve Been

Well. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? To anyone still hanging around–thank you. I appreciate your patience–or, more aptly, your neglect to remove me from your feed reader despite months of absence.

This post is hard for me to write, and before I get started, I want to reassure you that Celestial Carousel isn’t going anywhere–in fact, you’ll be seeing new posts here very soon! I did, however, want to give an explanation for my erratic, prolonged, and unannounced hiatus. If you’ve read my posts, commented, or otherwise invested your time in this blog in any way, then I feel I owe it to you to explain what’s been going on.

My mom has been sick for a long time–over two years now–and I’ve been her primary caregiver for that entire period of time. Without going into too many details, around Christmas, her health suddenly and overwhelmingly declined, and her condition has steadily worsened since then. She was in and out of the hospital emergency room for a week at a time, and then ultimately admitted for over a month until last Friday, when she was transferred to a nursing facility until she’s at a point where I can feasibly care for her at home again (which I’m praying is very soon).

My mom and me during GISHWHES last August.
My mom and me during GISHWHES last August.

The last two years have been hard, certainly, but the last three months have been an absolute emotional whirlwind. I stopped doing the things I loved. I’d pick up a book, flit my eyes over a few lines, and promptly lose interest. I’d start up my computer with the best of intentions, but end up clicking aimlessly around the internet, just finding ways to waste time. I love this blog, and my love of reading will never fade, but for a long time, I did wonder for a while if I’d ever post here again.

I truly, genuinely apologize to anyone my neglect has inconvenienced–whether by not finishing ARCs or not answering emails or anything, really. Please believe that this post isn’t an attempt to garner sympathy. I’m just giving you the facts.

I went to the library with my sister yesterday and something hit me hard. I realized how much I missed reading. I realized how much I missed this blog. The months when I was actively reading and reviewing correlated to some of my happiest, most peaceful months. I walked out of the library with a renewed sense of meaning and purpose for this blog–and, you know, three books in hand.

I’ll be taking baby steps, but I have great things planned for Celestial Carousel in the future. I’ve made it a goal to attend BEA in 2015, and by that time, I hope to have over a year of successful blogging (and new friendships!) under my belt. Again, thank you so much to those of you who haven’t given up on Celestial Carousel, and to those of you who have… I hope to change your mind. :)

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